Self-love and Judgement

Judgement is comparing ourselves to another person for self-validation or to make us feel better by putting another person down. It exhibits a lack of integrity, self-love and self-respect.

Judging and criticising hurts our relationships and pushes people away from us.

Currently humanity is in a pretty bad state due to a lack of love in the world and because we have cut off from our soul/spiritual selves. This is why we are in a Kaliyuga period of darkness. Never before has the planet been in such a state of turmoil and never before has humankind had such an opportunity for change. Coming out of the darkness means healing our negative mind, unforgiveness and resentments so we can change and grow towards our highest potential.

We may find ourselves judging and criticising ourselves and others for many reasons:
  • We don’t feel good enough
  • We want to play the victim
  • We think we know/are better than others
  • Competitiveness and jealousy
  • Habitually criticising others
  • Low self-esteem
  • Lack of self-love

Our judgements are usually based on our own perceptions, personal beliefs and set of values that we live by, dictating how we see others and even seeing our own shortcomings in other people. What we expect of ourselves and others is based on our own, often negative, beliefs.

There is a saying that says: ‘What you judge you get to keep’.  Meaning that whatever you are judging in another person must be in you and it is being mirrored back to you.

At times, especially when we are triggered it can be difficult not to judge, criticise or blame. The way around this is to:
  • Develop more love, tolerance, compassion and empathy for yourself & then you can give it to others.
  • Heal the issues triggering you by working on your negative sub-conscious thoughts, beliefs, behaviours and patterns.
  • Cultivate positive thinking.
  • Treat others with loving kindness and respect.
  • Complement, acknowledge and uplift others at every opportunity.
  • Learn to love yourself.
  • Clear your resentments and be forgiving.
  • Don’t play the blame game. Don’t blame others.
  • Take 100% responsibility for EVERYTHING that happens to us puts us in a place where we can change.


Choose Love Every Time
When you look through the eyes of love it changes how you view the world. You will we see good in everything and everyone. Ask yourself: ‘What can I change in me so I can be more tolerant and less critical?’ Healing our resentments and forgiving others who have hurt  leads to an open, loving, compassionate heart.

Love does not judge. Love accepts and allows. Loving kindness does not discriminate, it promotes love, tolerance, understanding, empathy and compassion for others.

Loving Yourself
You can’t give what you don’t have. In order to love others you must love yourself first. Learning to do this can be challenging. Particularly if you weren’t taught to do this as a child. Developing self-love and acceptance takes consistent effort over time however it’s easy to do.

Louise Hay recommends mirror work as a way of developing self love. It really is as simple as looking in the mirror every day and saying ‘I love you’.

Writing yourself a letter of gratitude or love is another way we can express love and appreciation for ourselves. Journaling daily to yourself creates inner support and develops a foundation of love.

Self-love and acceptance will change your life. It will change your relationships, you will feel better about yourself making you less competitive and critical of others. Loving yourself creates happiness, good health and longevity. When you expand into more love, your love flows freely. When you criticise you shut yourself off.

When we choose to see love in the world, the world becomes a better place. When we choose to be love in the world it uplifts everything and makes us feel good as our heart expands. Then we will want to share our love with the world.

What we give out we get back. Seeing good in every situation is a choice and choosing love will raise your vibration and grow your capacity for love. Over time it will become a habit.

When we become more loving, we will attract to us loving people, friendships and situations. Seeing love and good in everything promotes love and kindness which will flow out into the world. Loving yourself makes you feel good and will change your life.

Deb Stephenson is a teacher, master healer therapist, coach and mentor with 30 years of experience in energy healing, spiritual instruction, self-development and meditation. She is the founder Love Soul Healing energy healing therapy and a leader in her field.

Deb’s mission is to help people to create happy and fulfilled lives by assisting them on a journey of deep inner transformation, connecting them to their spiritual self so they can achieve their highest potential and life purpose.
Deb Stephenson

Spiritual Teacher & Master Healer Therapist

Love Soul Healing
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