Written by Steph Wicks
For the most part, change can be a good thing. We embrace it, we adapt to it and as a result we grow. But no one ever tells you about the unexpected change. The change that doesn’t feel so good. The change that takes away your ability to dream, the change that relinquishes your safety and everything you know to be true. This is the change you can’t just “roll” with. This is the change that will turn your world upside down.
I know about this type of change because prior to this 2020 pandemic that falls upon us the year, the same pang of loss, grief, fear and helplessness was strangely familiar to me. In 2018, my baby daughter was diagnosed with a speech and language disorder and when the doctor said the words “autism assessment” I felt like my world had literally come crashing down. I will never forget the feeling of hearing those words as she sat wandering around the doctors office that day. I kept a brave face, nodded and agreed with her suggestions. I paid the doctors bill, strapped her in her pram and as soon as the cold air hit my face outside I cried streams of hot, endless, pained tears. Little did I know this moment would be the catalyst for finding my why.
The pain I felt that day and many days after was like unlike anything I’d ever known. It hit a pocket of my heart I didn’t even know existed. But it was real and it ran deep. Looking back, I think the thing I was most scared of was the unknown. So many questions about what this would mean for us & her.
So, In the wake of a global pandemic, one that is affecting our feeling of safety, our vision for the future, our financial livelihood, our health, our families wellbeing and our day to day freedom… you may see why the unknown is something I am well versed in.
This moment in time right now is affecting each and every one of us globally. So I guess the real question is HOW do we embrace change in a way that will see us coming through this process better & more resilient people?
I’ll tell you… its 99% about choice. A difficult, warrior-like, primal, uncomfortable choice every single day to choose joy over of pain. Love over fear and more importantly the things you CAN control over the things you cannot. It’s a choice to say no to giving in even when it’s really hard.
That, is where the magic is. THIS is how you will get through this.
There are so many misconceptions about resilience. We often define strength in people who have their life together. No cracks. No fears. No problems. The perfect instagram filter, the perfect social life or the perfect body. These are the people who have cracked the code of life right?
What if the people who had really cracked the code were the people who have already seen the darkest of the dark & use grit as a vehicle to tear through the hard times even when it feels impossible?
Real resilience is also vulnerability. Its about knowing yourself well enough to call yourself out on your fears & real grit is about being comfortable in saying “Im not doing so good today” but I am choosing ME today no matter what.
So what can you choose in a world that seems completely out of control? Here are my top 5 tips to choosing you even when it feels impossible :
- You can choose the food you put in your mouth & how you nourish your body.
- You can choose to move your body whether its a walk around the block or a Youtube Yoga session when the kids go to sleep.
- You can choose to reach out to friends & family who fill your cup. A Skype session or phone call will do wonders for you mood, you just have to take the leap.
- You can choose what you listen to, switch off the news and pop on some music or a great audiobook. Your subconscious only knows what it hears, it can’t define between reality and fiction. Feed it good things, especially now.
- You can choose to rest & to prioritise sleep. Aim to get ample rest and share the load if you can. You simply don’t have to be superwoman right now.
Imagine if we could focus on bringing our joy to the surface right now. It’s time to let go & surrender to being “perfect” and remember what really matters. Our health, our families and friends and the way we feel inside.
Even when it feels impossible, I promise you this : Joy never leaves you. It just hides away sometimes. Hug your loved ones (virtually if needed) Take a breath, let go & surrender… Whatever will be, will be. Its time to choose you and to be the change in 2020.